Carrboro was calm last night. I walked through peaceful neighborhoods lit up by decorations and trees glowing in windows, but passed barely a soul. Downtown, traffic was slow and the restaurants, bars, and even grocery stores looked sleepy. The bustle of the season seemed to have faded. Maybe there will be a flurry of last minute activity today.
It’s a somber season for us this year. We had to put our dog down yesterday after ten great years. Too little time, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. For me, losing a pet dredges up sorrow that I’ve felt deeply but been unable or unwilling to process. Relationships with dogs are uncomplicated and pure, no judgment or hidden resentments. Losing them is just sadness and loss, emotions I need to embrace.
As for Christmas, I’m heading out for last minute shopping. It’s harder as the kids get older. Toys, or at least inexpensive ones, are no longer the order of the day. Money and gift certificates seem so impersonal and yet the tastes of teenagers are unpredictable. I’m opting for some clothes and a few token gifts, hoping to find out what I might have missed tomorrow. I’ll keep some cash in reserve.
I’m buying a ham and making a couple of casseroles that I hope will last for a while. I could do without thinking about dinner for a few days. We’ll eat well and toast Maisy. We can find happiness in that.
I’m looking forward to photos from Sweden. They will certainly cheer us up. Christmas in my daughter’s household goes on for two days because the Swedes celebrate on Christmas Eve, but my daughter is not giving up the excitement of Christmas morning. My oldest grandson is four-years-old and all in for the season. I’m sure it will be quite a couple of days. I wish we could be there to share it with them.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. I’ll get back to politics in a few days. For now, I’ll sit with my emotions and find joy in the celebrations of others. Peace.
